Becoming a Surrogate: The Story I Never Expected to Write
December 2025
SurrogacyUK
Surrogacy in the UK is built on trust, friendship and the desire to help others create a family and this story captures all three. What begins as a sister’s difficult birth experience unexpectedly becomes the catalyst for one woman’s journey into surrogacy, culminating years later in an emotional and deeply personal decision to help two close friends become parents through SurrogacyUK. In this inspiring first-hand account, she shares the realities of UK surrogacy: the medical process, the emotional conversations, the support from the community, and the joy of seeing a much-wanted pregnancy grow. This is a powerful example of how modern surrogacy, rooted in connection and compassion, can create families and lifelong bonds.
Here, Hazel shares her story in her own words.
How Surrogacy First Entered My Life
In a way, my surrogacy story started back in 2014, when my sister suffered complications following the birth of her first child. She was rushed back to hospital for emergency surgery that saved her life but left a lot of scar tissue on her uterus.
Her second pregnancy was not easy, and after her second child was born the doctors told her it wouldn’t be safe for her to carry any more children. Whilst she was very grateful for the two she had, my sister had always wanted a larger family.
I knew this, so I started to think about whether I could carry a child for her. At the time my daughter was only one, and my husband and I concluded that, whilst I could get my head around the idea of carrying my sister’s baby, the timing was not right for us.
Surrogacy is not recommended until you are sure your family is complete, because things can go wrong, and we weren’t sure at the time that we were done.
As it turned out, my sister had a friend in the military wives’ choir who had her two older daughters, and who had enjoyed pregnancy and independently developed the desire to be a surrogate. We are forever grateful to her for giving my sister her third child. My youngest niece is now a determined little six-year-old. I never expected my own thoughts of surrogacy to go any further after that.
Meeting Intended Parents Through SurrogacyUK
On bonfire night 2023 we met up with our friends Dave and Ryan to watch the fireworks. Dave has been my husband Chris’s best friend since primary school, and my friend since university. He is the reason Chris and I met, and he is now our daughter’s godfather.
Dave met Ryan in 2020, and they were engaged to be married in May 2024. During the evening they told us they had joined SurrogacyUK (SUK), a not-for-profit organisation that supports Intended Parents, Known Egg Donors and Surrogates through surrogacy.
They explained they would be attending social events in the hope of meeting a surrogate they would gel with, someone who might offer to help them start a family. They asked if they could share photos from the fireworks night on their SUK HUB profile – a bit like an online dating site. The SUK philosophy is “friendship first”, and members form teams for their journeys and often stay lifelong friends, raising children who know where they have come from.
We assured them they could share the photos, but it sparked something else in me that night, and I left thinking that maybe I could do more than that.
Considering Surrogacy Again
A couple of weeks later we talked about their ideal scenario – host surrogacy (using donor eggs) versus traditional surrogacy (using the surrogate’s eggs) -and how things might work. It meant a lot to them that I’d even consider it, and I left with the contact details of a support worker at SUK.
Chris and I decided we would prefer host surrogacy, so donor eggs would be used. My GP confirmed there was no medical reason I couldn’t be a surrogate.
In February 2024, I officially joined SurrogacyUK. Whilst Chris still had concerns about the medical risks, he accepted that I wanted to do this, and that I saw the potential upside of creating a family forever as outweighing the temporary challenges or the very unlikely permanent risks.
Starting the Medical Process
Because we already knew each other, our “Get to Know” period could be shortened to one month (usually they last a minimum of three). After that we could complete our non-legally binding agreement, outlining our plans and preferences for every stage: trying to conceive, the pregnancy, the birth, and our ongoing relationship.
We had to discuss scenarios that a typical couple might never consider unless the situation arises – what screening tests we would accept or decline, which vaccinations I would receive whilst pregnant, and under what circumstances we would consider termination. SUK seek to ensure no one is put into a situation where screening reveals a health issue such that the IPs would feel unable to raise the child, but the surrogate would be opposed to termination. Thankfully, our views were aligned, and our agreement came together smoothly.
SUK guided me through calculating my estimated expenses. In the UK, commercial surrogacy is illegal, but IPs cover reasonable expenses to ensure I would not be financially worse off. I went through a spreadsheet estimating the cost of vitamins, travel to midwife appointments, extra childcare if I suffered sickness, maternity clothes, pregnancy yoga – it’s quite a list and it does add up.
I am eligible for maternity leave and pay, so loss of earnings isn’t an issue for me, but my husband is not entitled to any paid leave. Our friends know the overall budget and pay in instalments throughout the pregnancy. Later, I will confirm with CAFCASS that the expenses meet the rules as part of the Parental Order process.
Medical Screening and Fertility Treatment
Dave and Ryan had registered with a fertility clinic in London, so I began health tests. I met the consultant, who talked me through their recommended medication protocol. Some surrogates prefer unmedicated cycles; I opted for the medicated approach for predictability.
The clinic required counselling sessions. One with my husband and me, and another with the four of us together. They needed to be satisfied that I was not being coerced.
And then the waiting began. The boys were on a waiting list to be matched with an egg donor. They underwent various fertility tests and discovered they had a few challenges to overcome. By November, they were declared to be in excellent shape. The final step required freezing samples from each of them for three months before retesting.
During this wait, Chris and I booked a last-minute family ski trip for December.
Fertilisation, Embryos, and Preparing for Transfer
By February 2025, the results were good: 16 donor eggs were ready for fertilisation. Dave and Ryan wanted the chance to each be a biological father, so eight eggs were fertilised from each.
Over a tense few days we received many updates. Nine fertilised successfully and looked good in their initial cell divisions. Amazingly, eight grew into embryos for freezing – typically only around half make it to day five.
The typical clinic schedule would have resulted in a due date close to Christmas. I was reluctant to risk being in hospital over Christmas, so the team agreed to aim for a January birth. We prepared for embryo transfer in mid-May, allowing a trip to Alton Towers over the Easter holidays.
I began the medication to suppress my own hormones, followed by replacement hormones. Two further scans and a blood test confirmed everything was progressing as expected, and the transfer was booked.
Embryo Transfer and the First Positive Test
Transfer day arrived, and the receptionist was slightly surprised when all four of us turned up but they fitted us all into the room. The procedure didn’t take long. We left with a close-up photo of the embryo and an ultrasound image showing a tiny dot beside the bright stripe of womb lining.
The official test day was ten days later. Those were long days of waiting. I began to feel slightly “off”, and while I was cautiously optimistic, I didn’t want to raise the boys’ hopes.
On day ten we were all awake ridiculously early and thrilled to see a very clear line on the pregnancy test. We were officially four weeks pregnant.
Three weeks later, Dave and Ryan’s faces lit up as the sonographer found the embryo with its yolk sac and a tiny flicker of a heartbeat. With an egg from a young, healthy donor, we were reassured the odds of carrying to term were very high.
Pregnancy Milestones
From that point onward, I was treated under the normal NHS maternity pathway. I registered with Kingston Hospital, and I brought the boys to the booking appointment as they knew the medical history of both the father and the egg donor. The midwife was lovely and handled our unconventional situation brilliantly.
The next milestone was the 12-week scan. Initially, Kingston told me they could only accommodate two people plus me. I had hoped my husband could be there too.
The support from SUK surrogates made all the difference as they encouraged me to advocate for what I wanted and offered advice. I contacted the hospital, and they agreed to use a larger scan room to fit all of us.
The 20-week scan went smoothly, with all measurements normal, and we discovered the baby is a boy. My exhaustion and nausea lingered until about week 16, but now at 32 weeks, I’m feeling considerably larger yet enjoying pregnancy yoga.
The boys have booked onto a “bumps and babies” course, and I’ll attend the birth sessions with them so our plans are aligned.
Preparing for Birth and the Parental Order
Our daughter, now eight, was initially reluctant about me becoming a surrogate. She didn’t want me to feel sick or be in hospital, and she didn’t want people assuming she was gaining a sibling. So we were very open with teachers, parents, and our church community. The support has been overwhelming, and she has enjoyed watching the baby grow on my pregnancy app.
In about two weeks, I’ll start maternity leave. I’m planning to stay relaxed and active, and after birth I’ll have time to recover physically and emotionally. I intend to express milk for a month or two to help with the hormones, but we’ll see how it goes.
Although Dave and Ryan will care for the baby from birth, legally I am the mother and my husband is the father. The final major step is the Parental Order. They can apply once the baby is six weeks old and before six months. The process can take anywhere from eight to twelve weeks or longer.
We will confirm the law has been followed, that the baby has a genetic connection to the Intended Parents, and that I consent. Everyone agrees this is in the child’s best interests, so it should be straightforward. A new birth certificate will be issued.
In the longer term, the baby will know who I am, where they came from, how much they were wanted, and how deeply they are loved.
This surrogacy journey beautifully reflects what makes UK surrogacy unique: friendship first, open communication, informed consent, and unwavering respect for everyone involved. As this family prepares for birth and the transition to parenthood, the story stands as a reminder of the extraordinary generosity of surrogates and the strength of the relationships they build with intended parents. If you’d like to learn more about ethical surrogacy in the UK, hear other lived-experience stories, or explore the support SurrogacyUK offers to surrogates and intended parents, we share regular insights on our blog. Stories like this show how surrogacy, when done safely and collaboratively, can create families and lifelong connections grounded in trust and love.