Strengthening Bonds: A Partner's Guide to Surrogacy

10th Oct 2024

Guest Author: Rosie Buckley

Every surrogacy is a fulfilling and hopeful experience for very many families. However, it might alter the dynamics in a family when one partner chooses to be a surrogate for another person. Now, such decisions are usually made with good intentions, to assist in expanding someone’s family, but it is only normal for couples to have a cocktail of emotions.

Understanding the Motivation

When your partner wants to be a surrogate, know the “why” behind it. Many surrogates have a desire to help people who cannot conceive. They often experience fulfilment by providing the gift of life to others. As their partner, knowing their motives might help you take pride in their selfless deed. 

This is a time to have meaningful conversations about your shared beliefs and what the journey means for your partnership. Open communication builds a foundation for emotional support. It ensures you both share the same hopes for the encounter.

Educating Yourself about the Process

Surrogacy is more than just pregnancy. It’s a complex process. It may involve medical procedures and emotional investments. To support your partner, you should educate yourself about the journey.

There are two types of surrogacy. Host surrogacy is where the surrogate carries a child conceived using the intended parents’ or donors’ eggs and sperm. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate provides her egg. Both types of surrogacies involve IVF (In vitro fertilization). Knowing each stage, from screenings to birth, helps you expect your partner’s challenges. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to empathise and offer meaningful support.

Open Lines of Communication

Your partner will likely feel many emotions during the surrogacy process. These may include excitement, hormonal changes, and potential stress. Maintaining open lines of communication is key. Make it a priority to check how they’re feeling. Pay attention to their physical and emotional states.

Sharing your feelings holds the same level of importance. It’s okay to feel unsure or worried about how this journey may affect your relationship. Talking about your emotions creates a safe space. It lets you both express concerns, reaffirm commitments, and find solutions to any challenges.

Addressing Common Concerns

  • Impact on Relationship and Family: The journey can be time-consuming and emotionally draining. There may be changes in intimacy and daily routines. Proactively addressing these changes will help you keep some normalcy in your relationship. Scheduling regular date nights or spending quality time together can reaffirm your connection.
  • Outside Opinions: Family and friends may not fully understand your partner’s choice to be a surrogate. Their reactions may range from supportive to critical. An agreed-upon approach to outside opinions can reduce stress. It ensures you both feel confident and united in your decision.

Offering Physical and Emotional Support

The process of surrogacy is not only giving birth but also entails many other medical procedures. Fertility treatments, embryo transfers, numerous doctor visits, and many more. Such activities can be physically and emotionally draining for your partner. This is when your help is needed the most. Your presence alone will count for a lot. Be it attending appointments, helping with recovery post procedures, or simply lending them an ear.

Also, support is required during the pregnancy stage. Upon conception, one experiences physical pain, changes in body chemistry, and hormonal fluctuations. Being considerate and kind towards your partner in such a moment will prove helpful and will help them cope with the changes.

Celebrating the Journey Together

While surrogacy is undoubtedly a complex and challenging experience, it’s also a profound act of love and generosity. Celebrating milestones together can help reinforce the positive aspects of the journey. This could include small celebrations for key moments, like the embryo transfer or the first heartbeat. Maybe throwing a baby shower or a photoshoot to celebrate new life. Focus on the joy your partner brings to another family. This honours their contribution and your support as a couple.

Strengthening your Bond

Surrogacy is a journey that can bring you closer as a couple. Supporting your partner shows empathy, resilience, and commitment. You are, in many ways, embarking on this path together. It can strengthen your bond with your partner and the intended family. By embracing the journey together, you build trust and support. You will both be enriched by the experience. Surrogacy is a unique journey, especially when your partner is the surrogate. It may bring some uncertainty. But, with open talk, support, and understanding, it can strengthen your bond as a couple. By navigating the process together, you can help create a new family.

 

Blog by Guest Author:  Rosie Buckley

“I’m Rosie Buckley, a freelance writer with a passion for writing and a love for exploring diverse topics. I enjoy diving into subjects close to my heart and bringing them to life through engaging well-researched content. If I’m not tucked up in a corner with a book, you’ll find me enjoying my spare time with family and friends.”