“I Realised I Could Help Create a Family
Without Having a Child of My Own”
July 2026
SurrogacyUK
If you met me outside of surrogacy, you’d probably find me in my veterinary nurse scrubs, at the gym, or singing K-pop far too loudly in the car.
I’ve spent most of my adult life working as a veterinary nurse, and after dedicating my twenties to my career, I’m finally at a stage where I’ve got a bit more balance. My diary is usually booked six weeks in advance with meals out, concerts, day trips and catching up with family and friends. I live with my best friend, Vicky, who I’ve known since we were about five years old, and our two cats, Nova and Nile. I’m also slightly obsessed with TV boxsets, video games and blood donation—I even plan tattoos and piercings around when I’m next allowed to donate!
People who know me would probably describe me as selfless, funny… and anxiety-driven. They’re not wrong.
Finding surrogacy
I’d always loved the idea of surrogacy, although I can’t really tell you where that started. Maybe it was watching Phoebe on Friends growing up—it made surrogacy seem normal rather than something mysterious.
Years ago someone told me you had to have children of your own before you could become a surrogate. As someone who has never wanted children myself, I accepted that and put the idea to one side.
Then one night I had a dream that I was pregnant.
When I woke up, I actually felt disappointed because I knew that experience wasn’t something I was ever going to have. On a whim, I decided to Google whether what I’d been told was actually true.
It wasn’t.
That one search changed everything.
I signed up to SurrogacyUK there and then, and I’ve never looked back. When I told Vicky, she barely reacted because I’d been talking about surrogacy since we were teenagers.
For me, surrogacy felt like the perfect combination. I could experience pregnancy without becoming a parent myself, while helping someone else become one. I’ve always believed in using my body to help other people, whether that’s through blood donation or organ donation, so surrogacy felt like another extension of that.
More than I expected
Before I started, I imagined surrogacy would feel quite business-like and transactional.
It couldn’t have been further from the truth.
What surprised me most was how warm, personal and relationship-focused it is. I hadn’t realised that the people you meet can become genuine friends, or that you get to watch the family you’ve helped create continue to grow.
That completely changed my perspective.
At the same time, I found the responsibility of carrying someone else’s baby much heavier than I’d expected. Every decision mattered. It wasn’t just about me anymore, and that made me think much more carefully about everything I did throughout the pregnancy.
Finding my people
My first Surrogacy UK event was Conference, which, looking back, was a slightly mad choice for someone with social anxiety.
I remember sitting awkwardly at the disco, wondering how on earth I was going to join in. Someone asked what would get me onto the dancefloor, and before I knew it I was being dragged up to dance to 5,6,7,8. From that moment on, I wasn’t standing on the outside anymore.
Everyone welcomed me immediately.
Even more importantly, they welcomed Vicky too. Although she wasn’t a surrogate, she was never treated like she was just tagging along. She was part of the group from day one.
That sums up SurrogacyUK for me. Nobody questions whether you belong. If you’re there, you’re one of us.
The friendships I’ve made have probably been the biggest surprise. As someone who’s always struggled socially, I never imagined I’d end up regularly messaging and meeting people I’d met through surrogacy.
One conversation has stayed with me throughout my journey. An intended parent friend told me to celebrate every milestone, whether it felt positive or negative, because every step brings you closer to becoming parents.
That completely changed how I looked at setbacks. Surrogacy isn’t a straight line, but every part of the journey still moves you forwards.
Discovering what I was capable of
Surrogacy has taught me that I’m capable of far more than I ever believed.
Before my embryo transfer, I needed to lose eleven stone. I could see the doubt on people’s faces when I told them that was my goal, but I got on with it and achieved it.
That experience showed me that if I commit to something, I really can do anything.
My proudest moment actually came after the birth.
A couple of months later, I met up with my team and found myself just sitting back watching them parent. Making bottles, changing nappies, feeding their little boy—it all looked so natural.
During the pregnancy I’d been so focused on growing and protecting the baby that I’d almost forgotten what the real goal was.
I wasn’t just helping bring a baby into the world.
I was helping create dads.
Watching them together, completely at ease as a family, filled me with pride. Every time I see them now, I still feel exactly the same.
The biggest misconception
The thing I wish more people understood is that surrogates aren’t “giving away” babies.
The baby was never mine to begin with.
I’m simply returning a baby to their parents, just like anyone else hands a baby back after they’ve had a cuddle.
People sometimes ask me what it felt like to “hand him over”, but there was never a dramatic handover. He was born straight into his dads’ arms. They had their golden hour together while I was recovering from my Caesarean, and then they came to see me afterwards so I could properly meet him and have a cuddle.
That’s exactly how it should have been.
The people beside me
I could never have done any of this without the people around me.
Vicky was there for absolutely everything. She was part of the team from the beginning, my birth partner, my biggest supporter, and somehow put up with all of my pregnancy antics without complaint.
My sister, despite having a huge fear of pregnancy, threw herself into supporting me because she knew how much it meant.
I’m not close to my own mum, but Vicky’s mum has become like family to me. She’s supported the journey from day one and loved getting to know the dads too.
My dad was quietly supportive. Like any parent, he worried about his daughter taking risks for people he saw as strangers, but he respected that it was my decision. My stepmum, meanwhile, absolutely loved hearing every update.
My friends have been incredible throughout, and for those who’ve experienced fertility struggles themselves, I think seeing someone they love actively helping others has meant a great deal.
They’ve all gained something too.
An extended family.
Never alone
The Surrogacy UK community is made up of people from every walk of life, with different personalities, interests and experiences, but everyone is there because they believe in helping create families.
Whatever stage you’re at, you’ll find your people.
Being part of the SurrogacyUK community means you’re no longer doing this alone.
Whatever you’re feeling, someone else understands it.
We’ve got you.